Gee Whiz: from a 1998 interview w/ Jane Arnell

JA: Do you practice a certain type of astrology (horary/Vedic/esoteric, etc.?) or astrology with a particular focus?

EF: I am the creator and proponent of the Gee-Whiz school of astrology. This is truly astrology for the people. You need to know hardly anything at all, just the basics, and it’s really good for making you feel like a brilliant astrologer if you’ve been studying for just two months or three days. It works like this: you cast your charts, and then when they come out of the printer, you look at them, and when you see something that looks weird, important or impossible, you say, “Gee-Whiz!” You need to keep a dumb look on your face for several seconds after you say this. The dumb look is critical.

Don’t try to “read meaning into” the astrology; you do not get deep; you get duhhhhhish, and stare, and after you’ve let out one or two good “Gee-Whizzes,” and temporarily acknowledged your relatively small place in the vast scheme of things, you can say things like, “Wow,” and “How the fuck did that get there?” and so forth, with all the appropriate tones of astonishment.

If nothing intriguing pops up in your chart right away, keep reading until you get a good Gee-Whiz. You will. This branch of astrology takes advantage of the natural resource known as stupidochronicity, which is a form of temporary mindlessness that relies on synchronicities, which is what people try to attain for 19 years sitting in Zen monasteries playing with the I Ching. Keeping in the Zen metaphor, the “meaning,” that is, the pearls of wisdom of the chart, begin to fill the empty cup of the Gee-Whiz. There is plenty of time to be brilliant. A little later.

Full interview here.

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