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Aquarius Confidential | Aquarius Prior Annual Excerpts | Aquarius Resources | Aquarius Responses

Aquarius Prior — excerpts from prior annual editions

Next World Stories — excerpts from annual horoscope from Aquarius 2009

THERE EXIST A DIVERSITY of entities living in the guise of what we call human; many evolutionary threads are represented on our planet at this time. They range from those more deeply ancestrally terrestrial, to representatives of many star systems, to members of the Devic realm who have crossed over to the human incarnational streams. We coexist among innumerable forms of life at this time, all taking more or less human form. My first question for you — a long-term question, which I am pretty sure has long-term notes in your files — is which kind are you? What is your identity, and from where do you assign your cosmic origins?

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While you’re considering this question for the next year or two, here is a more grounded question. How do you define your existence in the most mundane sense of your identity?

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The tension between individual and collective identity is the essence of Aquarius and it is the most poignant feature in your chart at this time. Indeed, there have been times recently when this reached a crisis pitch. The sense of a burning question that simply has no answer has, I am sure, visited you a few times or more lately.

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Even during relatively placid times, you may feel like you’re a waterbug floating on the surface of existence, clinging to your individuality, lest you plunge into something much larger than yourself that you don’t understand. At the same time, the need to be part of that something larger is enormous. You sense the potentially awesome benefits of this, but I suspect that you are still uneasy about the part of yourself that you perceive you would need to give up if you do. This, to my thinking, is the real crisis. It is one thing to be deliberative. It’s another to exist in a state of self-clinging. The thing you are clinging to is not your self and bears no resemblance to it.

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On many fronts, there is a potent emphasis on Aquarius at this time in astrological and global history, and it’s designed to raise all the questions of this sign for everyone. Yet as one born under this sign or with it in your ascendant, they all come back to your story and your journey on our planet in a more personal way than they might otherwise. I don’t think there has ever been a time in your adult life when you so deeply questioned the nature of your existence, nor when you were raising issues for yourself that you’re certain that others need to be asking for themselves.

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Being prodded to “be like everyone else” is very different than an intuitive sense that we’re all in this together, and that despite our seeming differences, we have far more in common.

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With Chiron in your sign, self-awareness and your relationship to those around you can be pushed to an existential level. Questions of relating to your community, individuality, self-definition and your place in the world have with any luck at all reached a depth where there is no easy answer — and if you know there is no easy answer, that is evidence that you are in the right place to find your way.

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Nessus is suggesting at the same time that you are feeling a deep sense of responsibility for both what happened to you and for the people who did it. This is an energy that needs to be kept in proportion, and seen in perspective. Issues of this kind transcend the need for “self help” and I would suggest that if you’re living through any of them that you seek the help of a therapist.

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In all, the presence of centaur planets in your sign is pushing you to be self-aware andВ self-actualized, an old word popular in the 1970s that means willing to come fully into your being.

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At times it may seem like you are in a hall of mirrors, unable to distinguish which is you, which is a direct reflection and which is an image of an image. The past and the future may seem oddly reversible. This reflection, however, is energetic, not strictly visual.

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In most schools of astrology, and in the experience of most astrologers, Uranus represents the future and Saturn represents the past. Putting these two energies in opposition represents for you a major confrontation between what has been and what can be in your life. The frightening part would seem to involve whether you can actualize the potential that you feel. While on some level there is always the faith that you will do your best, it’s important to make contact with the potential for not being able to guide your life the way that you want; for not getting the results that you are striving for. The more you make peace with the potential for failure, the more you will be able to actualize the prospect of making actual progress.

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Chiron is about to make some extraordinary moves, which is going to focus your process and, more to the point, give you options you were never expecting or thought would take much longer to finally arrive. You are not being handed anything here but the opportunity for awareness, which is awareness of coming into your own; and the potential for a very unusual perspective on where you fit into the world you perceive — a world that is changing radically: more so than is readily apparent right now.

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Your questions about yourself are not answered in theory. They are answered by opportunity, circumstance and encounters with people you were never expecting to meet.

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In the most recent decade, the sign Aquarius has played a profound role in the story of the unfolding of the world. You have, of course, been part of this, but to borrow an image I used earlier, it’s typically felt more like you were a waterbug walking on the surface rather than an actual participant. Now all of this is about to change

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The outer planets are indeed the Gods of Change, and we are never the same after one of them transits our birth sign, our natal Sun or our ascendant.

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If you feel like your life, or this lifetime, is the subject of some odd cosmic focus; and if you feel like you have a particular mission in this lifetime that is synchronous with the special events of this time in history, you can tell your mother I said this was true.

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T.S. Eliot said that humankind cannot bear very much reality. I would say we have trouble with “too much” potential. We struggle to be “who we are” when in reality we have no other option except to hallucinate our way through life.

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You will get to know the territory in gradual degrees as Pluto works its way across the deepest, most private corner of your chart. But like cleaning a vast, ancient attic, you will get to know many things about yourself and your ancestral history as you are letting go of them or dismantling them, even as you see them for the first time. You will discover many treasures, some of which you will want to keep, and some you will have no idea what to do with. And in the process of sorting yourself out, you will learn discernment of a kind that is truly precious.

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Today, at the outset of this journey and with so many opportunities about to come open, the healthiest posture to take is simply the willingness to know the truth about yourself. Hold gently the willingness that, for a while, this truth will be known to you alone.

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I would like to leave you with one last question, which I trust you will enjoy contemplating. As an Aquarian, you have a strong affinity with human intelligence, the function of the mind, and the capacity for human invention.

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Yet what can we really know for sure? One of the things that distinguishes you is that you ask this question. In other words, it’s not enough for you to be smart, or that you have some ability to establish the truth. Rather, you need to know how you or anyone got that way and what it means.

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It means you’re more likely to ask real questions and stand boldly in your uncertainty until you discover your personal truth — and be just as bold when that truth takes another giant step. And this little fact of Eris in Aries brings us back to the original question: What is a human being? How many kinds are there? Which kind are you? What are your origins, and where is your tribe? The fruit in this particular orchard of knowledge is starting to grow ripe.

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Small World Stories — excerpts from annual horoscope from Aquarius 2008

Nothing changes the whole world more than waking up. Waking up does not always mean awakening to certainty; often it means awakening to questions about who you are and why you exist.

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If questions about your integrity have arisen, remember that integrity is not always a good thing, particularly not when it’s holding you to a way of life that’s not actually working.

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Fairly recently, it seems you started waking up, and that may have come in the form of a gradually developing crisis.

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You may not know what your life is building toward, but astrology reveals when you’re going to get there. I would caution you that two years is enough time to think you have time to waste. I only mention the time frame because it’s preciselyВ enough time.

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But that is predicated on one fact: that you spend your time waking up instead of going back to sleep. Rather than setting alarm clocks and tying strings around your finger to remember the other string around your finger, you would be a wise person to focus on noticing what puts you to sleep; what distracts you from the truth; what takes you away from what you came here to do…. Once you see the causes of distraction, you will no longer need any kind of crisis to awaken you. Nor will you need the notion that there is some huge crisis about to come in order to keep your adrenaline pumping.

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Waking up also means keeping an internal focus of awareness. Pluto is about to venture into your 12th solar house, Capricorn. There are few things that will guide you inwardly better than a 12th house Pluto transit, though few astrologers would put it so politely. What this is likely to do is burst open all the little (or not so little) compartments in your mind where you hold energy, information and issues. What you are being called to do is pop open all those little packets of self-concealment and vow to never keep a secret from yourself. To the extent that you’ve gotten by on denial in the past, that is changing in the present and the immediate future.

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People who are evolving the fastest often find it the most difficult to find a partner. People who are questioning their role in the world, or their mode of existence, may feel, to others, like they don’t quite exist. This is because we equate existence with having a stable ego structure. With Chiron, Neptune and two other important ones — Nessus and Vesta — working through your psyche, you certainly have more questions than answers about right now.

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Among these choices and others, you need to know the truth of who you are. You also need to pay attention to who suits your reality – not your idealism. For people who are actually ethical, aware and discerning, there are not so many people who make the cut, and there are plenty of times when nobody at all may seem to be a good fit.

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It is rare to find a partner who is capable of waking up every day with a seemingly different person; or someone who is willing to leave you alone to work out your self-awareness and still be there when you show up again with some new ideas about who you are. One of the first priorities our society puts on relationships is their predictability. But that has nothing to do with growth.

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As the Grateful Dead said, “A man and a woman come together as strangers / When they part they’re usually strangers still.” Oh, it continues: “It’s like a practical joke played on us by our Maker / Empty bottles that can’t be filled.”

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It is fair, very fair, to say that your primary relationship at this moment is with yourself. I did not say your only relationship, but your primary one. I’m borrowing a word here from the language of polyamory; at certain points in our lives, there are primary relationships and there are secondary ones.

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It would be prudent of you to acknowledge this process to the people close to you, and to thank them for the space they give you. Say it out loud, something like, “There are things I don’t know about myself that I am finding out. Once I figure out what they are I will tell you.”

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The truth is that everyone has a completely unique sexual orientation. It involves who we have had sex with in the past, and who we want to have sex with; it involves emotional affinities and how they relate to our eroticism; it involves whether we tend to be dominant or submissive, or to switch around; it involves masturbation and how we feel about it; and it involves our fantasies when we’re having sex with ourselves. For you in these years of your life, the fantasy piece is enormous, and it counts every bit as much as actual physical sex.

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It is about exploring the idea of who you are, and looking through what may be utter chaos relating to your idea of who you are. But from that chaos will emerge something else, which is a creative idea of who you want to be.

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We need to individuate, but that is a psychological process and in truth, a means to an end, and the end is a kind of sane group consciousness that we don’t see or experience very often. In other words, we have substituted an “economy” for community; we have substituted supposed false individualism for community; we are still left thinking en-masse, generally, like robots.

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The real work at this time in history is learning how to cooperate.

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I can tell you from running organizations since I was a teenager that the skill we are lacking as a culture and as a species is voluntary, conscious cooperation.

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You may be a teacher by day and an inventor by night; your hobbies may be music and explosives; you may be a chef and a writer. Push these dual expressions as far as you can. Remember to work both aspects of who you are. They will feed and support one another.

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If you ever feel stuck, switch sides of your mind; remember the other thing you love to do, because it will remind you of the other person who you are.

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Be impeccable about money, even if people are not impeccable toward you; you have to set the example and hold the line.

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You will learn a lot, and potentially earn a lot, from experimenting. There may be some wild fluctuations in your economic status, but you need to be a good industrialist and keep trying; the goal is to stay in the game. But unlike a good industrialist you need to do so entirely in accord with your values.

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To the extent that your current relationships can change and grow, they will travel with you into the future. You need relationships that you can be in, and be uncertain of who you are. Remember that most people are seeking certainty, but by making it safe to feel uncertain, you will help everyone around you open the way to something else.
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The Spiral Door — excerpts from annual horoscope for Aquarius 2007

CHIRON, Nessus and Neptune are acting like permanent residents of your astrology, distant planets that are together compelling you to think of yourself more deeply, and differently, than you ever have before. This is saying a lot, as you are one for whom personal inquiry is as natural as breathing, perhaps more so. One of the gifts of your sign is a natural skepticism which lets you take nothing for granted. But now this is being pushed past all limits.
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In other words, it’s never just about you; and no idea stands alone. There is also the necessity, always, to deal with group reality presented by Aquarius, a factor which is being called into focus by so many planets in your sign.
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In short, your logic is not what it used to be; its papers are crinkled and its colors are running together. As a result, your prejudices are losing their grip, a fact of which I am sure you are grateful. But your intuition is much more vivid than it used to be, and if Aquarius is the sign of the water bearer, your pitcher is by this time pretty well full and you have plenty to share.
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Different things matter to you today, things you never would have dreamed would change so profoundly. I would imagine some of your fighting spirit has mellowed, but you’re not exactly a wimp; rather, you know there are different ways to penetrate the world than intellectually, and one by one you are learning them. Yet how long did it take to realize that a question was the thing driving you forward? It will continue to do so, though the form of the question is rapidly changing.
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Chiron and Nessus in your sign, forming a long conjunction that actually started in Capricorn, tell much of your story astrologically, though apropos of who you are, this is a story that is rippling through the culture and of which you are somehow part.
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If Neptune in your sign left you for many years with the feeling that you may not quite exist, Chiron has pushed the issue to the forefront, insisting that you consciously feel how intense it is to exist, to fear that you might not really exist, to know you will not exist someday, and to face many different opinions from others about the fact that you are very much a factor in their existence.
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Chiron in your sign is an ongoing lesson not to take things personally — maybe the most useful tool we have for living amongst others in society. Yet it’s also a reminder that your personal experience of life is a testament to who you are; your perceptions are unique to you alone.
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You are being drawn out of yourself, and compelled to integrate your reality with the world. I would say it’s tense, but it’s only as tense as your mind is not relaxed. Who you are is who you are in the moment — the moment, that is, when you remember.
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Eventually you remember you’re able to step into a place of actual awareness wherein you can actually define yourself, program your existence in the form of clear choices, and direct the overwhelming energy that Chiron brings into any situation.
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When people show up in the world and “show us our reflection,” they are often showing us something different than ourselves. Yes, we may identify with it in some way, or despise it in some way — but it is indeed different, and we can use the opportunity to choose.
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Everyone plays by different rules, and one of the ways you will decide who you want in your life is by the rules by which they play.
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Play with the people with whom you want to play. If somebody doesn’t want to play with you, move on — it may be personal, but don’t take it personally.
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What Nessus makes us aware of is what was done to us, and how it is that we came to be less than whole. What Chiron makes us aware of is what we must do, in order to be whole.
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For you, being an individual and being part of a group are the same idea — this does not present a paradox. This is because a group is madeВ of individuals.
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It’s just that your power is being turned up, your awareness turned on, and your empathic understanding of the experience taken deeper. Everyone teaches and teaches all the time; this is about the example you set being more effective than anything you could ever say, but the words you say counting for quite a bit.
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As Chiron returns to the position of your birth, you get a choice for which side of the Aquarius coin you want to live on; which way of thought, action and in truth idealism you want to embrace. In a true sense, you get to relive many of your early examples, only this time, seeing what it’s like to be alive in a time when there was never more freedom available, and never more false reasons in your face not to be free. You get to see what it feels like to make the choices of your parents and grandparents. You get to experiment, if you choose, with coming out of your comfort zone and daring to be an individual. In times like the ones we are in, it is easy to cower, and it will get easier.
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But I suggest you wake up each day and remind yourself you’re never going to pass this way again — and that it’s amazing you’re even here.
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