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Gemini Notes

Gemini — Quotes from

Underscoring it all, has been the sense of an emotional disconnect which I haven’t felt since I was about 7 years old. This has been coupled with my continual challenge of managing my impact on others, including the need to solve everyone’s problems and the power of my narrative constructs.

What have I learned? I’ve learned that problems aren’t the problem. Solutions need to come from the heart not the mind.

I’m in the process of learning how to stop taking on others responsibilities. To stop seeing everything and everyone else as slow, and to learn from their pace. While I may seem to have an inexhaustible supply of mental agility, resilience and a huge appetite for ideas, I need to be responsible about plumbing those depths as it may be harmful to myself and others. Especially, when it involves shifting contexts and realities.

In short, I’m in the process of forgiving my 7 year old self who on discovering the wonderful world of literature and the mental plane, became angry with the material plane of relationships, home and family for not behaving in the same way. For it sometimes being a scary and unsafe place to be. I’m learning how to release this anger and say this is okay and not to take it personally. I’m beginning to trust my other senses to guide me and keep me safe. I’m developing the courage to ask for help, and to speak up when I feel abused. This year I went to my first counselling session.

I’m saying goodbye to power trips, to obsession and to intensity.

I’ve discovered that I love everyone in my life, and that I need to quit trying to fix them.
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This past year is on one level feeling very fluid and on another feeling hard to contain. I sense fragments of not yet realized truth peeking through.
I do feel strongly a shift in paradigm and a break through in perception for all of us. Not an easy time but a necessary transition.
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After reading your request, I couldn’t help but visualize a mummy tightly wrapped in his cloth holding an Uzi. This year,more than ever in my life has been about unraveling all the layers of bullshit that led to a pathetic state of codependency and self destructive behaviors. More than ever it has been about recognizing self worth and creating a life that’s satisfying and fullfilling. I have spent a large amount of time going down “memory lane” trying to figure out how I got to where I’m at (that’s where the Uzi comes in,anything non-condusive gets obliterated). Of recent months I have opened my eyes to the beauty that surrounds me not only in people but to the sacredness the earth holds. It has been a journey of awareness on many levels. Although I still have many layers to go, Carli Simon put it best by singing “I can see clearly now the rain is gone”!I envision getting to that last layer,completely naked and free.
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I broke down the mirror of illusions, got rid of people who made their money on sucking my vital energies and my blood and stopped being a submissive person. I met a new man who wanted the same things as me and hope we can build new future together.
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This year has been, for me, about growing comfortable with the paradox of seemingly opposing ideas/concepts/beleifs operating simultaneously within one person or a situation. This year I’ve learned:
-That two completely independent and opposed realities can be true.
-That you can be in love with two people at the same time and that truth does not diminish the love for either in any way.
-That ‘professional’ and ‘punk rock’ are not mutually exclusive.
-You can be free, yet trapped.
-Life can be fucked and fabulous all at once.
-That most people are more uncomfortable with the contradictions in me than I am.
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I think i have reconnected with every single one of my significant past lovers this year, which has been heady and painful and disappointing. I have no idea why they all showed up this year to touch noses and then move on, but i think it has empowered me to look at why our relationships didn’t work and now that i am wide open to the possie of a new relationship, i can hopefully make better choices or go to deeper places.
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3 Responses to “Gemini Notes”

  1. Nora Connaughton says:

    You know that feeling you get when something is affecting you profoundly, where you actually have a physical response? I got that response from my heart when I read this horoscope through the first time. All the issues I am dealing with laid out with such clarity and insight. Eric, thank you!

  2. aisha says:

    Dear Eric,

    i have a gemini ascsendent and a cancer sun. The gemini horoscope resonates with my reality in an eerily accurate way. I think i cried when i read your words, ” all this work i did on myself and my relationships and Im still coming up against this.” in the last six years I have worked very hard on my marriage; to give it another chance; my best shot. Many times I felt I have overcome the gnawing void in my heart , the need to have a meaningful connection; to accept the deadness of this relationship. I distracted myself with work; with responsibilities; with self help books. Yet to my utter dismay I met someone last november who unknowingly showed me that the wound i had so carefully worked upon and thought was healed forever; lay open and bleeding.

    you talk about compartmentalization. I am a master at it. yet its so hard to not be yourself all the time. But words spoken with honesty can be so hurtful too to the other person. My libra moon cannot bring itself to do just that. I dont know how and where to begin to integrate myself.

    Thank you ever so much for laying it all out so clearly and with so much empathy. Its a tremendous offering.

    with warm regards
    aisha

  3. Kelly says:

    So I am not really alone! It does seem as though I am being asked to contain the tension of opposites in a major way…I have been struggling terribly the past decade with so many things. I barely have time to catch my breath before I’m dragged under again. The major planets and their hits continue to hammer…

    I’m hanging on and hoping for a breakthrough that includes remaining present in the material world.

    I so relate to the Geminian notes above…and many other related to my natal Sag/Cap intercepted first house. Add to that the Pluto transit of my solar 8th house and a natal Pluto/Moon conjunction there…a natal Saturn/Neptune conjunction in my 10th…Well, it’s beyond the word complex, that’s for sure!

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