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Gemini prior annual, out-takes and resources

Gemini (May 20- June 21)

How is your intuition? I mean: do you listen? Do you even know when it’s doing the talking? Do the hints you get tend to work with or against the things you know intellectually? Or do you override what your subtle sense tells you? Most likely, you alternate among the possibilities, never quite sure what internal voice to accept as valid. This, you call confusion. Yet because your intuition so often proved itself correct in hindsight, you probably fight with yourself about this issue on a fairly regular basis.

You have powerful analytical skills, though analysis does not proceed by itself; it’s guided by beliefs. Often enough, your intuition contradicts your established beliefs, or your notion of what you want to be true. That’s the issue.

More often lately, what other people want from you contradicts your sense of what is right for you, though it’s been surprisingly challenging for you to stand up to those influences. They seem to carry so much gravity. So there are really two matters on the docket: one is your relationship to yourself, as described by the intuition versus intellect issue; and the other is how you’re influenced by people who seem to have extraordinary power in your life; most recently, financial and sexual power. Both money and sex experienced as power have one thing in common: fear.

We could boil this discussion down to one theme: how do you handle fear? I suggest you start by calling it what it is. Drop the concepts anxiety, agitation, judgment, embarrassment and uncertainty. They are all forms of one thing, which is rarely grounded in reality. See if you can spot the habit of self-attack, and notice how much it costs you in the way of life force and peace of mind. Study when you go into automatic mode. You justify this as being ‘on the go’ or a way to ‘get it all done’, but the cost taken from this is the self-awareness necessary to keep you in a loving and relatively clear state of mind. The decision to go into auto-mode, while it has mental effects, is actually an emotional response. And now for the payoff question: from whom did you learn that habit? Once you know that, you will learn a lot more besides.

Here are some Gemini out-takes that did not make it into the final draft.

Seeking Freedom in Your Relationships

So much of your life as you know it — depending on your age, we could be talking about your entire adult life; but certainly the most recent major era — has been influenced by relationships that taking real steps toward independence is a step in a new direction. True, one of the subtexts of those relationships was finding yourself within them; though I am describing here a new kind of independence, of a creative and financial type.

This would be a great time to ask why more people don’t find their freedom in these areas; why we remain not only dependent on parents and bosses and ‘the system’ and corporations and marriages; but why we are so trapped in the ideologies of the people involved. Why do we keep reinvesting in traditions that don’t serve us and that don’t deliver what we want from life? There is a kind of psychological bondage involved, which is akin to religion but which is really much darker than that.

Your charts tell me that you’re trying with every cell in your body to set yourself free from this matrix. To some extent you need to know how you got in; which tells the story of our society. Here is one example. A century ago, the choice to marry was done once in life, and under rare circumstances, twice. This concept was associated with monogamy, the notion that we’re supposed to have one partner for life. By the mid-20th century, divorce was allegedly scandalous (really, a taboo topic) but one could in fact do it and another cultural of serial marriage began. This developed despite the fact that dissolving a marriage (any way you like it) is difficult and usually results in a pretty serious mess.

It is true that some marriages are lifelong bonds, whether fulfilling or not. The happy ones are indeed a blessing for those fortunate enough to be involved. However, they the exception. Many decades into the transient marriage phenomenon, people still marry under the pretense that the person is “the one” and that the marriage is “permanent.” And if they are not “the one” then the next one will be “the one,” and so on. Many people still hold marriage as a life goal, despite the obvious problems that have emerged; and a lack of understanding about how marriage was never designed as a romantic institution. But we have this idea that our romances are going to become permanent marriages.

Who exactly thinks to rethink the whole matter? Who pauses to adjust our concept of relationship to the reality of what our relationships are or are not, or better still, to think in terms of our actual needs? It seems to be outside human nature to think in this kind of constructive way; instead, we try to maintain dysfunctional traditions: and it all may involve taboos on sex. But we all know we need to. You in particular have been in visionary mode about relationships for some time.

Imagine, however, that your rethinking process does not stop just with marriage or relationships, but rather extends into every other aspect of life that vaguely resembles this model of trying to honor an old concept that just does not function; that is, in essence, a cultural lie. That is what I mean by consciously claiming your existence. Or rather, that is what I mean from claiming it back. And you may know exactly what I’m talking about: from whom you need to do the claiming, or from what, and to some extent, why.

As you go through the next few weeks, I suggest that you make a list of who, exactly, this might involve and get a sense of the whole landscape you’re moving in. This may come in some tangible current situations, and there may be situations in the past that call for attention.

Integrity and Compartmentalized Situations

Those familiar with astrology may recognize that I’m describing Pluto in the 8th house, which for you is Capricorn: the sign of structure and tradition. The 8th is the house of other people’s resources; marital contracts; investment agreements; inheritances (of all kinds); legacies; secrets; and transformation, including death. Pluto is about renewal, transformation, progress, and liberation. However, I could see the mix of Pluto, the 8th house and Capricorn making people a little nervous.

One of your talents is compartmentalizing your situations. You feel this way about this person, and you’re this way with them. You feel that way with that person, and you’re that way with them. This can manifest any ways, from friendships and business arrangements that exist independently of one another; to multiple ‘monogamous’ relationships that are kept in their own little cells, which can contain many different versions of who you are. This works, until you come to the point where you have to reconcile ‘this’ with ‘that’. It works till the cell membranes start to break down.

Pluto is telling you that now is the time. Part of what you are reclaiming your life from is situations where your investments divide you. This ‘division of self’ is an integrity issue; integrity really means integration of the seemingly separate parts of who we are.

This divided quality that tends to manifest mainly in your relationships is the easy precursor for those situations competing with one another. Your usual intention is to keep them separate, but this does not work for long. It’s almost as if you play divide and conquer with yourself, and then the world seems to play it with you. Competition is a sure way to tie up creative energy, which is the thing you want to express the most. The desire to express creative energy is a good way to figure out where those points of competition are. This is what I’ll call the point of reconciliation.

There are two ways to experience Pluto in the 8th house: as something coming at you, or as a focal point to organize your thoughts. We know about the first example. The second would feel like: you want to do something adventurous (Saturn in Libra in your solar 5th house), but you come up against a commitment (square Pluto in Capricorn in the 8th house). What is adventurous? Sex, art, rock and roll, mushrooms, redecorating, writing a novel, having a party, having a relationship. What is a commitment? Perhaps it’s an existing relationship, especially one where money creates a power dynamic. Perhaps it’s a concept of propriety with its roots in the past. Perhaps it’s a sense of loyalty to someone who is no longer in-body. It may be a situation where a partner is acting like a parent, or where you are treating them like a parent. (I will come back to this one in a moment, it’s crucial for you).

You would have two choices, at that point: one is to comply with the seeming demand or requirement; the other is to make an adjustment in your reality so that you are free. I bet you could make a list of a dozen instances in the past few months where this came up. You may be thinking: all this work I did on myself and in my relationships — and I’m still coming up against this? Well, you are — in the sense that you’re moving from theory to practice. Practice is real-life experiential situations. Make a note, these are likely to be a little scary, because your independence is on the line; and you are moving toward real independence, which is nerve-wracking all by itself.

Why This Involves Sex, Several Times Over – and Money

The 5th and the 8th houses are two of the most interesting for collecting information about one of your favorite subjects, sex. But they portray two entirely different concepts of sex, and each house is full of contradictions of its own. To sum up, the 5th house is where we experiment with test tubes in the basement and the 8th house is where we get a National Sciences foundation grant. About sex, that is. The 5th is fun, exploratory sex and in the 8th it tends to turn into something like marriage.

There is this little dance played between the 5th and the 8th. We want fun and exploration and we end up with commitment. Or, we seek commitment (we’re married) and we want to have fun. But if we have fun, we might feel guilty because of the commitment. And on and on and on. Do we actually like this? Is this a way of honoring the schizophrenic American culture of puritanical hypersexualization?

Even though nearly everyone else is playing this game and/or taking it for granted, you cannot afford to; it would be like hanging out in a cigar shop if you’re trying to quit smoking, but worse. The persona risks are much higher. It’s necessary to make sure that you first observe, then deal with, the sexual hypocricies of our society as you encounter them in your life.

With your charts set up the way they are, anything that involves sex will involve money; and anything that involves money will involve sex. Perhaps this is viewed as an unholy alliance, though it’s one that our society is very nearly built on. (And to hide this fact, we make prostitution illegal.) So the ways you will liberate yourself erotically will end up being the same ways you liberate yourself financially. And this all comes back to freeing up your creative power. Which, in turn, is your power to be who you are.

Are Your Children Growing Up?

Any time there are strong 5th house transits, it’s a good idea to check in with children; and what your transits tell me is that there is something going on with your children changing form; becoming adults, or more like adults; and if they are older ones, going through some major growth point on the way to adulthood. This is going to apply to a good few people; the world is not an easy place for youngsters in their 20s and 30s right now, and many of the benefits that you had at that stage of your life, they do not have access to.

Remember that they may be perceiving you as a vital part of their psychological support structure. I suggest reaching out a little more rather than a little less. They are unlikely to see this as meddling. I suggest as well that you be clear what support you are willing to offer, and on what terms; and make it available to them. I suggest reading their sign write-up if you are concerned, as it may offer a little more insight into their situation.

Younger children are faced with an extremely uncertain world. Imagine them describing the world we live into their own grandchildren. Imagine how heavy our current uncertainty weighs on a youngster; remember that they have neither the ego structure, nor the experience, to have some inner sense of certainty about how their lives will progress.

How you feel will influence how they feel. I suggest that you not try to hide your own concerns about the world, while not placing those concerns on their shoulders. The best thing you can do for your children, no matter what age, is free up your energy, and express yourself honestly.

One Response to “Gemini prior annual, out-takes and resources”

  1. Kelly says:

    Wow. You nailed it, Eric. I kept looking at my rising sign for insight ( which, in actuality, I’m confused about as I have Sagittarius on the ASC but Capricorn is intercepted there, so the readings for Capricorn rising and Sagittarius rising often both apply. I am also further confused by the fact that some charts place Mars in Capricorn (retrograde) natally in my first house (astrolabe) and others (astro.com) place it in my 12th house.)

    In any case, your reading of my sun sign Gemini shed light in a major way. Realizing that Pluto is in Cap in the 8th in my solar chart a lot of things fell into place. That puts a spin on Pluto (which is transiting my intercepted Sag/Cap first house in my natal chart) that very accurately describes the conflict I’m experiencing in my marriage and current circumstances.

    I hope I can resolve this without ending my marriage. My partner, who is a Cancer, seems to be willing to accomodate my fierce insistence on change so far…let me be clear that this is change that appears to be exploding/imploding from within me, not imposed from without. I think something in me IS seeking integrity – not just seeking it but demanding it. I seem unable to compromise or compartmentalize anymore. If that makes any sense…

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