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Virgo Confidential (for Sun and ascendant)

By Eric Francis

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sep. 22)

One of the reasons for your notorious insecurity is that you struggle to locate a place where you can ground a solid sense of identity. As a result, things move from I to We quickly in your life; that’s a big part of the ‘dedication to service’ so often spoken of in textbook descriptions of your sign. The rapid shift in any thought process from I to We dilutes your already challenged grasp of who you are.

Consequently the people involved in various We situations in your life can get blamed for being the ones who took away your sense of I. What most likely happened is you didn’t show up with it in the first place; or at least it was not formed fully enough to create something tangible for yourself in the relationship. This is a big issue in many people’s relationships: the loss of identity and independence, coupled with the feeling of guilt for wanting any of it back. We all keep thinking that if we could get our relationships right, this would all be so much easier. What is more difficult to see is that we must get ourselves right and then our relationships will follow.

With Pisces, the sign of fantasy and the dissolving of boundaries on your solar 7th house cusp, you seek human relating as a relief from the harsh demands and worldly expectations of life. And, time and again, those are the things that you find in relationships more often than you avoid.

The past phase of your history has come with many, many relationship challenges. Take this back about seven years. Instability has been a huge theme. But the people you’ve partnered with — there appear to be a few of them — have each pushed you in different ways: pushed you to bring out your true self. Pushed you to be real and most of all, to drop your hesitation and your attachment to the past, and be in the moment.

You are no longer being pushed: you are being invited. You no longer need someone to fire up your curiosity; it’s directly accessible to you, and it’s finally more compelling to you than your sense of propriety; than your carefully guarded cosmic virginity. If I had to take a guess, I would say that you’re more intrigued by the prospect of having real experiences than you are by the notion of being pure. I think you’ve finally figured out that was somebody else’s idea of who you were, not your idea of who you are.

The Unique Thing About Virgo

Unlike most other signs, Virgo is organized concentrically. Most of the zodiac is a study in dualism, from the two horns of the ram in Aries to the twins of Gemini to the two waves of Aquarius. The symbol of Virgo is an individual person. Based on this, one new to astrology might think this personhood issue would be simple for you. But the arrangement of your sign in relationship to the rest of the zodiac tells a more complex story. I’ll give a few examples.

The sign after yours is Libra; that is called your solar 2nd house, the house of your values, personal resources and self-esteem. Libra is the primary sign of relationships, so there is often someone else involved in your sense of self-worth. That makes sense, because you so often look for it in relationships.

Where we find Aries in a chart often tells us about how a person finds their strongest sense of identity; Aries is about intentions, personal initiative and the quest for self-awareness. In a Virgo chart, we find Aries in the solar 8th house — the house of shared resources, contracts and commitments. This means that the moment you tap into Aries energy, you come out in the presence of one or more other people.

We can look to the 10th house for a clear sense of a person’s intentions, such as their most vital goals and their sense of who they want to be in the world. When we look in your solar 10th house we find the sign Gemini, the most dualistic sign. Its image is two people; which suggests both a relationship, as well as two sets of goals that affect your relationship to yourself.

So when you move from your primary identity (Virgo) out to the other directions of the wheel — which is inevitable, because we always draw energy from many facets of ourselves — you often find yourself expressing, or in relationship to, some property that gets you involved with others. Most of us have figured out that there aren’t so many relationships that express healthy interdependence. Most are codependent, which is a situation wherein someone makes an attempt to make up for their own lacks or insecurities by involving another person. That other person tends to have issues of their own, and the matter tends to spiral into a kind of relational abyss. We politely call this a drama.

Imagine how much simpler life would be, if people invested more energy in finding and establishing their identity, desires and intentions before getting involved with others and their situations. One might ask why it doesn’t happen; and the answer is: we’re conditioned to have things be the way they are. Yet your experiences the past number of years have shocked you out of that status quo again and again, though it’s not until recently that you’ve wanted more than anything else to take yourself out, to get yourself out of your old ways that provided you with little in the way of satisfaction and adventure.

The Seeds of Fear and Identity

I’ve said that Virgo is structured concentrically. This is another way of saying that, if we look to astrology for some information, you contain an inner being that you are in continual relationship with; a living being who you are nurturing and helping grow, if you pay attention. To some extent this is true of everyone, but it’s a potent metaphor in your chart.

Were the zodiac made up of plant symbols (not a bad idea, of its own) your sign would be depicted by a seed. You carry around potential like a pregnant woman carries her nascent child. For a while, the child is part of her. Then she gives birth and the child becomes its own entity. The difference here is that you are both the mother and the child in this description. Who you give birth to is yourself; and this is an ongoing story of your life.

Here is how Alice Bailey puts it in the book Esoteric Astrology — words that may be of interest to you. “The sign Virgo is one of the most significant in the zodiac for its symbology concerns the whole goal of the evolutionary process, which is to shield, nurture and finally reveal the hidden spiritual reality. This every form veils, but the human form is equipped and fitted in a manner different to any other expression of divinity and to make tangible and objective that for which the whole creative process was intended.”

I am going to guess that you find that paragraph pretty interesting, because it speaks to something deep inside you. By the whole creative process, she means: the creative purpose of God and Goddess, the cosmos and humanity. The whole creative purpose.

One of the most interesting things about the zodiac is that the myths that make up the 12 signs are some of the most cryptic and ancient of the lot. We can trace them, for the most part, but they are not what you would call accessible. They tend to be deeply esoteric, and why certain constellations got associated with the signs (when there are many more constellations on the ecliptic) is not fully understood. I mean, a sea-goat?

But the sign Virgo is based on images and stories that are still accessible to us; still meaningful, and that we can relate to; and due to some recent developments — such as the discovery of Chiron — these myths are very much a work in progress; they are alive. And in the case of your particular sign, they are on their way into human consciousness.

Virgo, the Virgin, is in part a reference in our culture to Mary, the mother of Jesus. So for Christians, this may have special significance. She also represents Eve, a supremely important figure in our current mythology; in another dimension, Virgo also represents the goddess Isis, who is perhaps less a part of our culture but whose name we’re all familiar with.

The introduction to her Wikipedia entry is really fun. “Isis was a goddess in ancient Egyptian religious beliefs, whose worship spread throughout the Greco-Roman world. She was worshiped as the ideal mother and wife as well as the patron of nature and magic. She was the friend of slaves, sinners, artisans, the downtrodden, as well as listening to the prayers of the wealthy, maidens, aristocrats and rulers. Isis is the goddess of motherhood, magic and fertility.”

Very warm and down to Earth. And in short, yours is the sign of goddess worship in the middle of a patriarchal world. Virgo is distinctly related to fertility. Right now that fertility is expressing itself most prominently in the form of self-gestation in preparation for self-birth. We shall see just what you may be giving birth to — I have a theory.

Let’s look at the house where the life of the fetus is depicted: the 12th and last house. In solar astrology like we are doing here, the 12th is the sign before one’s own, which for you would be Leo. The 12th, no matter what sign is involved, represents the hidden or veiled properties of one’s own sign, which are in gestation and seeking to be born. Or it can represent the place where we get lost; the place where we lie to ourselves; the place we go on fantasy and denial trips. The 12th can have a phobic quality as well. And because your sign is all about veiling and protecting that which is hidden, the 12th house is one of your most valuable places to explore.

You have Leo in this solar house. Where we find Leo in any chart often tells us about where a person seeks their deepest and most authentic sense of expression. Leo, the sign before your own, is veiled in the house of no-self; one that is even associated with that peculiar form of selflessness or vertigo of the personality known as madness. That the 12th has a touch of madness even amongst the perfectly sane is a healthy thing: this is a healthy relief from rationality. It’s the house of dreams and fantasies, where our minds seek some freedom amidst the restrictive and often contradictory rules of the world.

Leo in the 12th makes it pretty challenging to think of your creative expression as anything tangible. In many ways, self-expression and creative glory are a kind of phantasy. And this, precisely, is what you are working through right now; what you are developing: a rare setup in your chart is helping you proceed on a course of inner investigation which is, at the moment, reminiscent of your lifelong theme of being the one who holds the germ of your future self.

Mars, the planet of intention, will, desire and individuality, is retrograde in Leo, the veiled 12th house of your chart. But I would propose that you’re feeling it: in your dreams, your fantasies, and a restless quest to individuate yourself: both to grow as a person, and to have a distinct identity within your relationships. This transit may be showing up as fear: sometimes a lot of fear, such as the fear of non-existence. Yet there is a bold and exploratory quality to this transit.

We might ask whether you’re getting this mostly as deep inner self-exploration, as the fear of not being able to find yourself, or the craving to confront your fears.

Into the mix may be the regret in the past that you have not done enough to establish your identity; or simply as frustration that you cannot get a grasp on who you are. Yet now this inner search is the event of the hour, and of the year; and it may represent a defining threshold in your lifetime. You have searched so long and so elusively for some grounded sense of individuality that anything leading you in that direction is something to welcome; though I suggest you get accustomed to the extent to which this involves facing your fears — and your tendency toward secrecy.

I have a theory about the secrecy bit: it’s protective. Your tendency to make everything relational needs (in theory) to be counterbalanced by some form of withholding in those relationships, so that you keep a little bit of you for yourself. Yet your struggle to actually share your deepest self in your relationships tends to skew the results of your relationships. Hold back and things get weird; offer yourself and you can lose yourself. Now you are working out this riddle.

So Let’s Talk About Relationships

At times, your quest for fulfilling relationships gets so little in results that you often think you need to give up entirely and be a monk or nun; but such would be the equivalent of giving up on yourself. You’re faced with a situation where you need to do precisely the opposite — have more faith in yourself than you imagined possible.

While you think of yourself as an expressive, on-the-level person, you would benefit from comparing that assessment to the long list of things you have kept from both public view and also from view in your most personal relationships. If at this time in your life you’re struggling with any measure of loneliness and isolation, you would learn a lot from sizing up what you have not said. While you are there, notice what you have not said to yourself.

I know that it sounds like a paradox that someone might ‘keep a secret from herself’; generally this would be chalked up as denial. It’s not quite denial in this context; it’s more like an extreme form of compartmentalization, where you tend to organize your psyche in parts that don’t know about one another, or have only a vague awareness.

You may associate being secretive with something inherent in your nature. It is not actually inherent; it’s an interpretation, or an adaptation to the world you perceive. The way it looks astrologically is, you feel like if you’re not extremely careful, you will compromise your identity merely by being in a relationship.

The closer to someone you become, the more your identity can be compromised; the less certain you feel; the more vulnerable you feel, with less ability to express yourself or even hold your awareness at the center. If this is true, then it would follow logically that if you hold back you ‘preserve yourself’. But actually, the idea is not preservation: it is growth, change and cultivation.

Your relationships are indicated by Pisces and anything involved with that sign. Pisces is under some amazing focus this year, based on three different aspects, which I will list for clarity, and this suggests that you are noticing that ‘people are changing’. But of course you are noticing this because you are changing.

Chiron makes its third and last conjunction to Neptune for this cycle. Active through much of 2009, this energy is now at its last peak. This is about a shift in the environment of your relationships, including your work relationships. This shift helps you come to agreements, focus your intentions and clear the fog of deception and denial. Relationships, even of two people, are really small groups, and they experience a kind of group dynamic. Often that involves giving up some of one’s power for the sake of the group. But we need to see things a new way: which is that individuals add their own energy to a group and its purpose in a way that supports individuality rather than compromises it. I trust that this will help you know who to trust and who not to trust.

Jupiter enters Pisces, your relationship house. This is calling you out of yourself with some distinct promise of a deeper connection, which you know could be mutually beneficial. This transit is made more potent by the fact that Jupiter is well placed in Pisces: it’s the original ruler of this sign. Yet the relationships you form need to be based on a new sense of honoring your integrity, rather than living in a fantasy world of self-denial. Why is this so challenging? You will figure it out as you respond to the people who respond to you, rather than the ones who do not.

Jupiter enters Aries and makes a conjunction to Uranus, also newly in Aries. The mere fact that Uranus is transitioning out of your relationship house after nearly seven years is meaningful: but that transit is not quite over, and Aries is also an important relationship house for you (the house of commitments and shared resources, your solar 8th house). Still, the conjunction says: get ready for some interesting, exciting changes and exchanges of energy as the next six months go on. Commitments that seemed ‘permanent’ may rearrange themselves. Notions that seemed impossible suddenly show up as realistic, if surprising.

Just about any other interpretation for your sign that you read will tell you how excellent this is for your relationships. I would suggest, though, that everything depends on whether you are keeping your senses and intuition focused on what the Chiron-Neptune conjunction is teaching you, rather than how ‘good’ it is. Chiron and Neptune together are what you can describe as the ‘modern’ rulers of your relationship life; in traditional astrology, Mercury is associated with Virgo and Jupiter with Pisces. So Chiron and Neptune are the harbingers of the new order, which for you is a new, more honest, direct and clear-headed level of reality.

One of the ways you’ll get here is by going beyond analysis. You have analyzed yourself and your relationships. Chiron-Neptune is saying: tune into the dimension where you just know. You will need this when you are offered possibilities that are better than anything you’ve encountered, but where you identify your ‘prior nature’ as being too conservative to see them for what they are, or to dare to take the risk. But as many of my comments in this reading so far have suggested, it’s time to go beyond being ruled by your fears.

The Art Studio and the Office

One of the most exciting transits for Virgo is Pluto in Capricorn. You have lots of astrology working to get you on board with the conspiracy to set yourself free. I am sure it’s going to happen because you have so much help, from your own inner providence.

Some of the best help you have is in the place you need it the very most: the 5th house, which is where we find information about play, creativity, sex, taking risks, making babies and generally having a good time. Among the somewhat quirky things about Virgo is that you have Capricorn — the sign of business — in this solar house. This is part of what provides your serious demeanor; that of a child who is, and seemingly always was, a little adult. This is about reconnecting with the energy of childhood. You were a child. There were reasons you grew up so fast, and now you’re discovering some of what they were.

Pluto has now been in this house and sign for one full year for you, turning over the soil of obligation and adherence to the past that once seemed so packed you thought it would never move.

To say that this has provided an incentive to fire up your creative impulses is a cosmic-scale understatement; yet to say that it’s dredging up all kinds of hidden material, guilt and shadowy self-esteem stuff would be true as well. The fear of daring can become mixed up with the fear of letting go, the fear of having no way to stop yourself, and the fear of not existing. The bottom line here is that if you want, you can address and resolve that material now — mostly because this and other transits are allowing you to be honest with yourself about it. If you are stoking up your curiosity, I suggest you allow it to touch every aspect of your consciousness and your experience.

Dig through this material and no sooner do you see it for what it is, then you can grind it up to use as clay. Take the myths and the scenarios you find and use them as fodder for your art or healing process. Literally, directly, create the space in your life for your creativity: be it a table, a room, a trunk, the attic or the basement. I do advise that the place have the potential to be brightly lit as well as to feel dim and scary, and lots of places between; this, so you can use your environment to explore the spectrum of emotions that you feel as you are creating. Remember: this is for fun, for liberation and for healing. You don’t need to emphasize any one attribute; rather, remember that they are all aspects of one thing and work together.

Underneath it all is: you don’t need anyone’s permission to live except your own.

In the next house, your solar 6th house or Aquarius, is the culmination of a many-years-long process of Chiron and Neptune moving through that angle of your life. Here, you seem to have some cleanup work to do around group situations, particularly those involving collaborative efforts related to work and healing process. You may have come through a phase where you had an extremely idealistic vision of these things; you may now be discovering problems with the judgments or assessments you made earlier, and be aware that it’s time to reverse some of them.

I recognize I have not said much so far on the theme of ‘career’. What I will say is that it’s directly tied into everything you’re experiencing because of the connection to Capricorn and to Saturn. In essence, your one career goal, speaking from your charts, is making sure that your work reflects the deepest aspects of your creativity. Sure, you may have a side gig that pays the bills, but it may be time to move on from this and figure out how to connect your money to your deepest creative impulses. That calls for one thing: integrity.

Self-Esteem and Sexual Secrets

The biggest secret you keep is what you want. You tend to hide this from others, and you tend to hide it from yourself. This is one reason why your self-esteem is such a touchy issue for you. You hide the facts of what you want, and then using reverse logic, decide that because you don’t get them you must not deserve them. But the reason you don’t get them is because you haven’t aligned with your will and desire.

I see this trend changing, as long as you make a daily yoga of being honest about what you want and who you want and what experiences you want. All of this relates to how you feel about yourself. If you are under one incredibly potent, focused influence, it’s to reassess how you feel about yourself, and to understand why you feel that way.

Let’s return to the theme of sex, and bring that back around to the revolution that’s coming for you in both sex and relationships. The reality is that you have, or have had, some rather conservative tendencies in these areas of life, which have not served you well. Part of why they don’t serve you well is because conservatism is boring. Pluto in Capricorn is saying loosen up; Uranus in Pisces has been saying that for years. Both will show you how, if you want, but you need to be willing to hang loose and take some chances, particularly chances on who you are.

Capricorn in the 5th house is one seat of your conservative tendencies, the very ones you’re trying to work through (or is it burn through?) and evolve into a truly creative, celebratory perspective on life. In modern language we tend to think of ‘liberal’ as the opposite of ‘conservative’. I suggest you think of liberated as the appropriate opposite mental posture. The longer Pluto is in your 5th house, the more you’re going to need to reveal yourself, which is a liberating thing to do. With Mercury recently retrograde there in the first weeks of the year, you will be that much more curious to see what happens if you open up.

It’s almost as if you are willing to be close, but not reveal certain deeply held personal truths. And the more urgent your need to do so, the less inclined you are to let the information flow. Yet this cuts you off from the one thing that could ever be satisfying about sex or emotional closeness, which is a sense of psychic intimacy that is based on making your personal truth available to others, and to yourself in the presence of others.

Sexual secrets, in turn, point to the secrets of life and death. Here, you may feel uniquely unqualified to say anything, though I assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. As you persist in your current journey of deep self-exploration, I would encourage you to honor your discoveries, and invite someone you trust to be witness to your process. Ideally, this would be someone who is not attached to you; or at least not attached to the outcome of their relationship to you, so that both of you can proceed with the attention on you and not on ‘the relationship’.

You need relationships that do precisely this; you need contact with people who are not only willing to explore the deepest parts of who you are, but who also crave this experience. Yet in the process, it’s vital to know: you must go there first yourself. You must at least be familiar with the process of exploration, which means exploring the unknown, and being willing to express your truth as an act of surrender and vulnerability. Second, remember that others can only go about half as deep with you as you’re willing to go yourself. This is just a fact of consciousness: you go deeper than others do because you contain your own awareness. You can use this fact to keep others on a shallow level (at the expense of inner depth for your own experience), or you can use it to foster intimacy with yourself and thus foster deeper bonds with others.

The Revelation: A New Experience of Commitment

Our society — and I speak of everywhere from California to Asia to England to all of its former colonies — has some twisted ideas of commitment; sick, in fact, because they involve the denial of self. Look up the term ‘civil death’ in the context of feminism and you will get some clues. Back when nearly all women changed their name upon marriage, many of them became non-people and unfindable by former friends and lovers.

The revolution in your life is about discovering the ability to bond with others while remaining fully present for yourself. That’s my one-sentence summary of Jupiter conjunct Uranus in the solar 8th house. It is true that some people currently in your life, or one significant other, may wake up to this and run with the experience. Yet this transit may upset the order of any existing relationships in your life, and if there is a reason, the reason would be that they are not up to the task of you being free within them.

Also up for challenge is the myth that monogamy is the one and only way to have relationships. It is for some people, but no one thing works for everyone; and everyone defines their relationships on their own terms — if we are awake, that is. Aspects and the many incredible changes they will bring to our society are designed to keep us all on our toes, and to show us what a wild and rich world we live in. We exist within intimate relationships that are themselves part of complex social networks, with energy flowing among many people in many directions. And you are at the center of your life.

3 Responses to “Virgo Confidential (for Sun and ascendant)”

  1. Anna says:

    The most interesting reading! It has opened some of my inner questions I have been asking myself for a long time…but still difficult to unreveal, in it’s entirety. The part of (Self-esteem and Sexual Secrets) coulden’t capture the meaning to well.

  2. Yvette says:

    um, wow. so perfect. really struggling right now with how to be supportive, nurturing, and independent. vacillating between playing the invisible support system and being really resentful about that and wanting to run away. so…just work on myself, huh?

  3. lesley says:

    Boy,oh,boy, That was the most true reading of myself and what i am still trying to work

    through in my life today.Has given me a totally new perspective.Thanks.

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